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64 Cheese Jokes You Will Love

Here are 64 of our favourite cheesy puns and jokes:

  1. What did the cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
  2. Have you heard about the secret society who governs the sale of cheese? They are called the Halloumi-nati!
  3. How do you eat crumbly cheese in Wales? Caerphilly
  4. Never do business with a cheesemonger. It's one Roule for them, one Roule for everyone else!
  5. What do you call a curly-haired cheese? Permesan!
  6. What did Shakespeare ask his cheesemonger? To brie or not to Brie!

  1. Why is Christmas the cheeseiest holiday? Because of baby cheese-us!
  2. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese? Gorgonzilla
  3. What is a cheese diet? Eating curds and weigh!
  4. Did you buy a lot of cheese today? Yes, I bought a Tunworth!
  5. What cheese can you use to clean your teeth? Dental schloss
  6. What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke? There was a meltdown!

  1. What is cheese without a cracker? Crackalackin!
  2. When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda be true!
  3. Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries!
  4. Why did Lewis Hamilton have too much cheese? Because he won the Grand Brie!
  5. What did i do with my cheese handkerchief? I bleu my nose!
  6. Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced? It had grater plans!

  1. When can't you see a cheese? When it's pasterised!
  2. What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Looking Gouda!
  3. What's a cheese's favourite TV channel? The Brie Brie C!
  4. What did Mr Cheese say to the shop assistant when she selected the wrong size dress for his wife? That won't Feta!
  5. What do they shout out at Pantomimes? He's Brie-hind you!
  6. What did the cheese say to the therapist? I Camembert it any longer!

  1. What does a cheese alcoholic call for? Morbier!
  2. I wanted cottage with my meal. So I ordered form the a la curd menu!
  3. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
  4. When should you keep an eye on your cheese? When it's up to no Gouda!
  5. How did the cheese paint his wife? He Double Gloucester!
  6. What do cheese markers dance to on Halloween? The Muenster mash!

  1. What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant!
  2. What cheese do beavers like? Edam!
  3. Why was the cheese monger lopsided? Because he only had one Stilton
  4. Why can't you make clothes out of cheese? Because fromage frays!
  5. What is Tom Hanks' favourite cheese? Philadelphia!
  6. What surrounded a medieval cheese castle? A moat-zzarella!

  1. A guy drove past me in his car and threw a lump of cheese at me. I thought to myself "That's real mature!"
  2. Which search engine is still popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese!
  3. What is yellow and brown and hairy? Cheese and toast on the carpet!
  4. A cheese walks into a bar. The Barman says "We don't serve your rind here!"
  5. What is a pirate's favourite cheese? Chedd-AAAAARGH!
  6. Why did the cheese get fat? Because it never whey-ed itself!

  1. Did you hear about the cheesy comedian? He had some crackers!
  2. What is a lion's favourite cheese? Roar-quefort!
  3. Where can you buy second hand cheese? Brie-bay
  4. A big cheese and a little cheese were walking down the road. the Big one says to the little one "You're a little immature aren't you!"
  5. How do you get goat's cheese? Ewe's milk!
  6. What gambling game to cheese lovers play? Le Roule-ette

  1. What is the woodpecker's favourite cheese? Pecorino!
  2. Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree? No but an Applewood!
  3. What was Marlon Brando's cheesiest film? The Goudafather!
  4. What group of cheese has been know to fly? Curds of prey!
  5. Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the Roquefort back!
  6. Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie

  1. Did you hear what happened when the cheese factory exploded? De-Brie went everywhere!
  2. What is the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd your Enthusiasm!
  3. What is Jay-Z's favourite cheese? Brie-younce!
  4. Which cheese is the most religious? Swiss, because it is very holey
  5. What did the cheese say to the other cheese after he told him a joke? That's a Gouda one!
  6. Why does cheese look sane? Because everyone else is on the plate is cracker! 

  1. What do you call a cheese that lives in a church? Stinking Bishop!
  2. How do you get a mouse to smile? Say "cheese'!
  3. The history of cheese is full of holes, but it's interesting in it's own whey!
  4. Which cheese can you use to hide a horse? Mascapone!

Those are our favourites. What about you?

Email info@thepresentfinder.co.uk with your favourite cheesy joke for a chance to win a unique joke present for your loved ones.

Alternatively, why not take a look at our Cheesy Jokes Gift to purchase all of these wonderful fromage homage jokes in a beautiful gift box

Cheesy Jokes


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